A short post about pain...

...yes, the pain of laughter when your dentist, Greg 'This is Good Shit' Theodorou drills you to distraction, making you wonder if deep-throating a woman's vibrator would have the same 'dental' effect.

The pain of him getting his own back on you, when you refer to him as 'the worst dentist in this town and surrounding areas', and he refuses to remove what can only be described as a dental tampon, until I proclaim him 'King Flouride'.

The pain of knowing he has the cheapest supply of laughing gas in the area.

The pain of discovering that Anna's spoken German is not quite as bad as mine - and I lived there!

The pain of a close friend making fun of your limited intelligence, because of your choice of mobile phone (two identical handsets - work and play - so they can use the same car kit) with the line 'So, if I take you outside the office and give you a really good, long, hard kicking-in, you'll still be my friend?'

At least Steve is on the job, working on my web site (is he?)

But enough of that crap. You want to know if I have any good links today. Well, read this article about a search service for the North Korean press. Try the site's random insult generator, based on authentic North Korean press & Government statements. It's so 'Wizard of Oz', and rather 'Disney' - well, if Kafka did Disney, that is.

Check out my stunt goat. I thought King Dong was the only lifeform to faint when stiff. Hang on, that reminds me of a poem:

'Blues for King Dong'

King Dong
With a foot long schlong
Rumoured to pass out
After not very long

Battling
For length supremacy
Against John Holmes
Your authentic contemporary

But there was a shock
Shame on you!
It wasn't your cock
- Just a latex sock

I was going to post a new poem here, but as I haven't written it yet, I won't. So here is a joke from Iran instead, via Gavin Esler of Newsnight:

Four surgeons are discussing who makes the best kind of patient to operate on.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second surgeon responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is colour coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

But the fourth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There are no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable."

Quite.

Love, peace & respect,

Fearless