'The Hustle'

If true love is
realisation
after the fact,
then desperate love
knows it's futile,
but doesn't care
a fuck.

25th February 2006, 36000 ft and declining

Link of the day

Well, it's Tuesday here in Seoul right now. Here is a 'what if' clip of Microsoft packaging the iconic iPod.

It's cold in Seoul

The immigration staff at Seoul's Incheon airport told me this evening that Pakistani gangs have joined South Korea's organised crime scene. Perhaps it was a tad tactless of me to then respond with 'I am really happy to be here.'

I spent Saturday in love with Ute Lemper. It's over now though.

'Oedipus Wrecks'

Oedipus rocks
when Oedipus wrecks,

Oedipal cocks
are mental wrecks.


'Stocktaking'

Bookstores for the Taiwanese;
dominated by self-help texts,
promising improvements in work and life,
yet stubbornly refusing to provide a solution
for those marital difficulties with
the beloved mainland Chinese.

25th February 2006, LHR to Hong-Kong, BA25

F*cked up Friday

A manic day. Still getting stuff ready before I fly out tomorrow. Anyway, here's the link for today, it's Outback Justice. Not sure what Lord Reith would have made of it, or indeed, Bernard Matthews.

Also a cracking safety film & Blood on the Carpet.

Link of the day...

...Weight Watchers recipe cards from ~ 1974 (for Simon).

Reading: the guide to the 20th London Lesbian & Gay Film Festival and D's blog

Listening to: the sublime soundtrack for 'Lady Vengeance'

Distracted by: pixie dust - is that anything like angel dust?

Thinking about: whether pigeons orgasm, and if so, do they retain a memory of it, and long for it again?

Smiling faces?

'On the Central Line'

Blank stares
at nothing.
That's it -
occupied space.
Like the Northern Line,
without the despair.

21st February 2006, guess where?

A day in the smog

Managed to catch 'Good Night & Good Luck' & 'Lady Vengeance' at the Curzon Soho today. 'Good Night...' resonated quite strongly, given the way the UK parliament managed to wreck 800 years of rights in two weeks, undermining the presumption of innocence (this happened last year, in case you missed it). This country badly needs a written constitution.

'Lady Vengeance' was superb. Very different to the last two parts of the trilogy. Chan-wook Park makes Tarantino look like a pop video auteur (which he is, if you consider most of his films are mash-ups of HK films with a dash of Peckinpah and excellent soundtracks).

Oh, and walked right into Eric Idle's photo call for 'Spamalot' outside the Palace Theatre, whilst being followed by four Pythonesque monks smacking their foreheads. Then I had the actor Jimi Mistry stare at me repeatedly in the Curzon bar. I should have gone up to him, and say (in front of his friends) 'I can only recognise you if you pull your pants down and bend over for me.' Damn, I am too slow these days.

What's all the fuss about?

The UK does have a constitution, although it's not called as such. Here it is:

'The Constitution'

We, the Government, have the right

1. to dictate an individual's occupation
2. to place an individual under house arrest
3. control an individual's access to the telephone and Internet
4. to restrict who an individual may meet or communicate with

and reserve the right to add new restrictions (just like that!), without ensuring that restrictions imposed match the threat that said individual is deemed to pose

Furthermore, pursuant to the above, the Home Secretary has the right to request the High Court for

1. a non-derogating control order, or
2. a derogating control order

although it really makes little difference (the second opts out of Article 5 of the European Convention on Human Rights, but if you have got this far you are already in deep shit)

You, the individual, have the right to

1. be detained at Her Majesty's pleasure for up to four days until the High Court has granted the control order (if the Court refuses, the Home Secretary can keep on applying without even changing it)
2. five years in prison for breaking the terms of the control order
3. have a 'security-cleared' lawyer represent you and have access to the evidence against you, while
4. not having personal access to the evidence against you
5. not challenge the control order under the Human Rights Act or by judicial review
6. remain silent

Welcome to the (not) United Kingdom.

With thanks to the Prevention of Terrorism Act, 2005

The Englishman and the Irishman...

'English writers for the most part try to follow Orwell's dictum that prose should be a pane of clear glass through which you look. But Irish writers think of prose style as a distorting lense. We love that ambiguity; we love that a word can have three or four meanings at the same time.'

2005 Man Booker Prize winner John Banville

Doh!

For the third time in eight months, I passed the chap who was the inspiration for the poem 'Pretender to the Throne' - and for the third time, I didn't have my camera to snap him. Bollox.

I have also received some more stick over the poem 'The Real Bagpuss'. I kindly ask my critics to bend over and show me their bottoms.

Anyway, to cheer myself up I have booked lots of tickets to the Curzon, Sadler's Wells, La Linea, the NFT, Kew, etc. It's perhaps the only way I can anchor myself to the UK without being dragged off on another overseas tour.

Kudos to the young lady at the Curzon Soho who took my booking - when she apologised for the glacial pace of the booking (computer trouble), she rose to my challenge to sing 'on hold music' - yep, 'When the Saints Go Marching In'. She was good.

I think 'Project Gazonga' will start tomorrow.

Fearless

Pondering...

...a business meeting this afternoon, I am reminded how some habits are hard to break (except where women are concerned). Hmmm, it's time to fly.

Listening to: Sparks, Gogol Bordello, Holly Golightly and Solveig Slettahjell with her Slow Motion Quintet.

Films to catch this week: 'Feeder', 'Lady Vengeance' & 'Good Night and Good Luck'

Barcelona was fun, now it's time to do the laundry and prepare for two weeks in Asia from Saturday, for adventure beckons.

The perils of it all...

Bagpuss, that Lazy, Drug-Taking Fuck

Publishing such stuff is not without risk. The 'Cistern Kid' was fine with my profile of Mr. Benn, but criticised my treatment of Fagpuss. 'Da Bomb' was more strident:

'I can't possibly condone any poem that slags off the God of cats!'

and later, after I made a case for Top Cat:

'I really struggle with Bagpuss getting a dissing. I know Top Cat is king but Bagpuss and I have a special thing going.'

and finally:

'Well I'm still not happy about the dis Bagpuss is getting but if I try and separate my passion for the pink stripy God from your cruel words then yes, as a poem it works'

Thank fuck. I thought she was going to protest and kill me.

Profile II

Here is a guest profile:

'The Real Bagpuss', as told by Oscar the Grouch

Bagpuss was nothin' but a shifty muthafucka.
Sellin' out Professor Yaffle for firewood
'n' gettin' them mice to nibble his doo-doo tube,
that cat never done an hones' days work -
and he had nine lives, that fuck.
That stripey colour scheme?
Sleazewear, brother,
worn while beating up
on that cripple Madeleine
fo' her welfare cheque.
That pussy sure done pimped ho',
but Emily loved him,
that smelly, saggy,
crack-smoking, cloth cat baggy -
yeah, he owes me money.

10th February 2006

Profile

First in an occasional series:

'The Secret Life of Mr. Benn'

Strolling up and down
the shop floor,
clicking heels and
admiring his ankles
in that strappy,
fuck-me number.

Slut.

Catwalk action, while
waiting for that special
Mackintosh -
with a hole in the pocket
to access two boiled sweets:
warm and without wrappers.

Gent.

10th February 2006

Is it me, or is there something about Mr. Benn - dress-up fantasist - and John Steed - secret agent?

John Steed of 'The Avengers'

Mr. Benn, Children's Cartoon Character

Phew!

Collidoscope submission completed, and two new poems written - 'The Real Bagpuss' and 'The Secret Life of Mr. Benn'. I think I will write more poems about these two characters, particularly Bagpuss, who I can't stand.

I better get ready, i'm off to Barcelona for the week.

Love, peace & respect, Fearless

Just what was He smoking?

'Beware Branding'

Catholicism scars children,
Islam scares everybody and
Christianity remains,
the frocked crusader.

The Dalai Lama
gives good interview
while Shiva, Kali and Durga
watch the latest Bollywood
extravaganza
- all backlit by infernos of intolerance.

Meanwhile, in ethereal surroundings
of Mantovani and multi-pack,
He is confronted with
decision ineffable:
Bold or Persil.

8th February, 2006 (based on notes from the 18th of December, 2005)

Lurpak and people power

Thinking about recent events in the 'Islamic World' (no such thing really, but abstract ideas do simplify debate to the lowest common denominator) I was reminded of a particular book.

In PR terms, it was smart to boycott goods (Lurpak is heavily used by many Asians, as I can personally attest), but disastrous to protest aggressively, calling for death, attacking the Danish embassy in Beirut, etc, etc. That really didn't help at a time when we need to show that the Islamic faith is tolerant, patient, and - just like any other religion. The bigoted minority were allowed to grab control of the steering wheel again - and only Muslims can stop that.

Just how many of these 'believers' saw the cartoons? It wasn't as if the Prophet was butt naked and singing show tunes.

It's a bit like the 'Satanic Verses' controversy. Few remember that when the book was originally released, it was reviewed in an influential Tehran newspaper, without praise or criticism. Only when the political situation changed did the Iranians stoke up a raging fire of rhetoric. Just how many young protestors in Bradford read the book and formed their own opinion?

If you take things too seriously and overreact, you deserve to get a lot of fun poked at you. This one will run a while longer yet.

The biggest threat to Islam is indeed intolerance, but it's from within the faith. Members of other faiths manage to close ranks and give the bigots little oxygen - something my brothers and sisters should perhaps learn. We can't wave our arms about helplessly, protesting that we didn't know what to do.

If faith is a battle, then it is a battle within the believer, not a battle amongst many.

In other news:

Abu Hamza has been sent down for 7 years - good, he was a twat.

Omar Khayam (named after the Persian poet?) is returned to prison. Anyone DUMB ENOUGH to dress as a suicide bomber and protest on TV, while out on parole, deserves to be back in prison purely on the basis that he is a little light in brainpower. However, he deserves some respect for at least apologising.

TW3

It has been a tough week with little sleep - recovery will be set back if I am not careful. Managed to go to Tyme on Friday (with Mia) and Saturday (with Jeff) and also caught Jasmin Vardimon's 'Park', as well as procuring more CDs and DVDs ('Dekalog' can be had on two DVDs for under £20 from Virgin Oxford Street).

I have just finished Chinwook Park's 'Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance' and 'Old Boy' - terrific cinema. I can't wait to see 'Sympathy for Lady Vengeance', the final part of the vengeance trilogy.

Must go now...have just cut my finger.