Talkin' sh*t

Some poems I wrote while waiting for the plane in Taipei a couple of weeks back. These will be moved to the other place, but i'll stick 'em here for safekeeping in the interim.

'Ahoy There!'

It is a little known fact,
that pirates wearing eyepatches
did not lose their eye in fierce battle.
Rather, it was because of their
early careers as cabin boys,
where a rather unsavoury practise,
engaged to satisfy their captains,
not only made the knees sore,
but would take your eye out,
if you didn't get out of the way.


'Willowy'

He had quite the longest legs.
As a zoo keeper, he made
the giraffes jealous, and
one flamingo tried to mate with him.

But the women were bemused
and the half-pint men tittered,
for his long legs were merely pillars
for his derriere, which was
large and wobbly, prominent
and potentially deadly,
threatening to drown him
every time he had diorrhea.

Whether privately or professionally,
he was forever mucking out,
always in it up to his ears.


'The Dude' (a true story)

He was part of the crowd,
longing for his own entourage.
Hip, tending towards the
sarcastic, frustrated and bitter.
Yet he went silent, vanished,
when it was revealed that
under his baggy jeans,
he hid another pair of slacks.


Thinking about: jumping in the car and buying some ice cream