A Touch of the Sherlock Holmes...

Spent most of the working week thinking about the identity of the scallywag who planted the following item on my desk at the beginning of the week (ok, Wednesday - it was a long weekend)


This was something of a surprise to me


I knew it couldn't be a female I worked with (and it wasn't Kucko), it had to be a bloke. Could it be 'Staunchly Straight' Simon? He had recently 'turned', judging from his new red shoes:

Lets face it, he was too obvious a choice (he oils his pushrods every weekend), so I crossed him off my Shit List of Suspects. I asked the 'Chillie Dick Kid' ('D' had recently suffered an unfortunate incident in Texas involving a bowl of Chilli and a gents urinal), but it wasn't his modus operandi (he prefers to slip a side of beef in a bun).

I interrogated 'Gupta', slapping him about with my copy of the Economist (extra thwacking power - guaranteed every week!). It was fun beating a confession out of him, even though I knew it wasn't him (he prefers to send spoof text messages).

After a series of discussions it became clear that the culprit was our very own Delia Smith - Kristof - who had wowed us all earlier in the week by inviting us to taste his unique 'chocolate surprise', plopped onto a plate. I leave you to figure out where the surprise element came into it.

But a 'transgression' has opened up an opportunity. I now have a pack of love hearts, and I think it is time to send them out on an adventure - with a letter of introduction of course...

Brushing up on: French sexual slang

Writing projects: nothing much, other than a spoof business plan (where would I submit that? Hmmm)

Having a laugh reading: 'National Strategy for Victory in Iraq'

Preparing to: go to Korea & Taiwan for a two week jaunt