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A nice long night out with the guys. On the bus from Hendon to Finchley, we were joined by a religious nut, who shouted about God & Jesus to no-one in particular. Unfortunately, she sat right behind me, so I felt I was being personally addressed by The Power. Being unable to jot down her 'broadcast from heaven', I fumbled with my new handset in an effort to record 'The Word'. Here are some excerpts:
'Sell your possessions and give to the poor'
'Grrrrrr! Grrrrr! See? I am a demon. Demons battle Jesus'
'Jesus! Jesus needs salvation in this mad world'
'Forget about the earthquake in Asia, there will be one here!'
'We are doomed'
Fun gal, eh? As we disembarked, some wag wished the amateur golfer a happy weekend of 'swinging', and then shouted out to the fallen angel the question 'If God & Jesus are with us, how come we got stuck in f**king traffic?' I told the driver to step on it, as Jesus would take the speeding ticket.
Our Angel of Friday Night Doom followed us into Finchley Central tube. I didn't see her purchase a ticket, although she did directly address the ticket machine with a sermon.
This brief experience with 'The Woman with the Travelcard of One Extra Zone' led me to the following observations:
- There is much trouble in the world, ostensibly because God can't be everywhere. This is mainly because he uses buses. Moral: God should use taxis, or get Jesus to drive his Cadillac
- God is indeeed within us all, but in some people, he must be damned uncomfortable
I have been told that I will burn in Hell, but I don't think i'll get tickets to it
I tried to get Ash arrested at Covent Garden tube, after accusing him repeatedly (and loudly) that he was 'tickling his change'. While everyone laughed (always good to hear after work on a Friday night), nobody took up my offer of a citizens arrest.After this, I can't quite remember where we ended up, except there was a 27yo strikingly attractive lady from Galway (Jenny) with a voice that reminded me of honey and molasses (perhaps I am just dreaming). But I did find this photo:
Ash, Sandeep, Peter & Gerry (taken with a 2MP cameraphone by a drunk)
And some more:
Next thing I remember was grinding and thrusting my hips to some latin funk in Guanabara (corner of Drury Lane) until 3am. It's good to know that at my age, I can still stay up until 5am, and get by with only 5 hours sleep after that (ooh, are those vapour trails?)
Thanks for the bed Ash (nuff said). I missed the Munch exhibition, but there is always next week.
Best thing about the night wasn't being on a bus driven by God, or the booze or dancing. It was the company of friends, where one can be brave. I tip my hat and raise my glass to the guys.
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