Giftwrap

It's gayness one degree removed. Dissatisfied with the accoutrements of man love - flabby udders, salt n pepper stubble and irredeemably bad wind - we substitute foreplay with the act of giving eachother gifts; Barbara Streisand, Ethel Merman and Judy Garland.

The key requirement is for each artist to be portrayed in a less than flattering light - Babs simultaneously destroying World music and the notion of the concept album. Mumblin' Ethel Merman decapitating disco like a testosterone-stoned Liberace. Judy being goofy with a half-pint Mickey Rooney.

We finish, by exchanging the act of being taken up the rear, for listening to them. To a music lover, it is much the same thing.

11th September 2007, on the floor