That wascally writer...

'I've been smoking Pall Mall unfiltered cigarettes since I was 12 or 14. So I'm going to sue the Brown & Williamson Tobacco Company, who manufactured them. And do you know why?'

'Lung cancer?'

'No. No. Because I'm 83 years old. The lying bastards. On the package, Brown & Williamson promised to kill me. Instead, their cigarettes didn't work. Now I'm forced to suffer leaders with names like Bush and Dick and, up until recently, 'Colon'.'

Kurt Vonnegut