Of dinner trays and turbulence

Back from China & Taiwan. Shanghai was heaving - not surprising with a population of 20 million - a city that rivals anything in Europe. I wasn't able to spend much free time there, but did spend Sunday with my old friend Masuda-san, who moved there from Tokyo about six months ago. Of course, we got a little trolleyed and spent the evening going up and down the river, past the Pearl Tower. It was hard to take any photos, as we were surrounded by a posse of Indian housewives who commandeered any viewpoint.

About 50% of the cars in Shanghai are taxis, partly because it's an easy profession to enter. Unfortunately, the oversupply means prices are low, so taxi drivers make very little money. One meeting required three taxis to get to the venue as the first two drivers took me to the wrong place - much of Shanghai's high-tech scene is in the Pudong new development, which is not well recorded by maps. The burping taxi driver with the dodgy trunk was impressive, as she managed to go round bends at speed without my suitcase flying out of the open boot. My apologies to the guy who approached my taxi as I was getting out, only for my door to open and make contact with his groin at speed. He took my apology well, despite being bent double on the ground in sheer agony. It was a shame that I was unable to spend the whole week there (in Shanghai - not standing over the guy rolling on the ground in pain), as 1st October is National Day in China.

The flight from Shanghai to Hong Kong on China Eastern was fun, combining elements of the film 'Airplane!' with drag racing.

Hsinchu in Taiwan was pleasant, although there was nothing to do in the evening - my thanks to Vivien & Belinda for their hospitality and plenty of Chinese moon cake. After relocating to Taipei, I discovered the joys of the city's famous night markets, open from 8pm - 2am. Food and clothing stalls galore, with lots of crowds. I veered off the beaten track and strolled down the backstreet residential areas, watching the Taiwanese at rest and play. I didn't take any pictures as I didn't wish to intrude. I was impressed at how they live in harmony whilst being densely packed (Taiwan has the second highest population density in the world, after Bangladesh).

Taipei was fun, although its museum of contemporary art was closed. I therefore made a beeline for the National Palace Museum - simply great - especially its displays of calligraphy & jade.

I left Taipei for Hong Kong yesterday, hours before Typhoon Longwang ('Dragon King') paid a visit. On the drive to CKS airport, one could see Longwang approaching the island, whilst people started to evacuate. The flight to Hong Kong to London was made vastly bearable, thanks to the stellar company of EmmaS.

'The Sum of All Encounters'

You said I didn't,
I said you wouldn't -
kind of agreed we couldn't,
for we both knew we shouldn't.

25th September 2005, BA169 to Shanghai

...and a very draft memory-dump:


'The King of Collegetown'

For Ravinther Sundaramurthy, and the memory of 1987-1989

The lure of liquid lightning was too great to resist, as you loosened your nuts with some Saturday spanner action. What to do, when, in the midst of post-orgasmic bliss, you were interrupted by your mother, offering you a cup of tea? Not for you the cowardly approach of 'letting the sheet take the heat', thereby losing your handful of sacred love custard. No, you chose to risk the hazards of excessive salt in your diet with hurried mouth-munchie action. But that wasn't your greatest moment. Perhaps the pinnacle of your reign came when you decided to freewheel your Vauxhall Viva downhill. To discover the joys of trying to brake without servo assistance - oh, and to panic, and instead of starting the engine, forfeiting all pretence of control, by way of shaky hand involuntarily pulling the key out, thereby locking the steering wheel. Your date with destiny set, you and your two hapless companion-hostages could admire the view, until you realised the road bent while the car proceeded straight ahead - into someones domestic idyll, a home counties dambuster.

Dares, such as picking up half-eaten apples off the floor and eating them in the presence of an entourage, did pale into insignificance - especially when after ingesting said dirty nugget, you proceeded to eject it from your system - with great haste, around the corner, away from the throng - only for all to hear the sounds of you retching.

Of course it was a treat to have an eating and drinking contest with you, only for you to lose your lunch - and dinner - whilst in the 'Cistern Kids' first car, coating an entire side of a Mitsubishi with chunky chicken and lager, thereby doubling the cars value.

It was a hoot to extort money from people - in the name of charity - all in fear of your nouvelle ManWoman look, having finished a drag contest to undress, only to discover halfway through that your everyday clothes were missing.

Never before did lipstick complement a bald patch so well - at least until Sinead O'Connor turned up.

25th September 2005, BA169 to Shanghai Pudong