Zero Mostel would have done it!

Missed Shortfuse last night, opting to struggle with a Dyson vacuum cleaner with an 'odd' attachment. Dyson sure do make a hatful of crap.

Close friends will know that I am in the midst of a celibacy errr drive, yes - celibacy drive. It's going well but the continuous wanking has left me sore. Don't know why I chose to share that with you. Anyway, tomorrow i'm off to Liberty's AGM to partake of legal masturbation and then I will sneak in to watch the Ballet Boyz production, 'Naked', at Sadler's Wells ('Naked' closes tomorrow). In the evening I will get my wet dream come true, by watching buxom ladies bend over and show me their bottoms - well close, in that I will be watching a performance of Immodesty Blaize and Walter's Burlesque at the Arts Theatre. Alas, The Independent slagged it off, and the show does not feature a live orchestra. I'm hoping that it will be so bad that it's relatively good. Mind you, an evening at Madame Jo Jo's might be better. Will I have a chance to catch the SoxaN Collective in Brick Lane???

Does this post give anyone the impression that I have got the horn? Nah, didn't think so.

Send hula-hula boys to Fearless for an MOT inspection