Prostituting myself

I never thought it would work, but I couldn't resist it. I just had to submit another ad.


'Summarily ejected from the NLP course entitled ‘How to Build a Better
Girlfriend’, thanks to turning up with the Ikea catalogue, allen keys,
amyl nitrate, a blowtorch, a blow-up doll, a picture of the Queen Mummy
and a gallon of vodka, I find myself standing here with singed eyebrows
and my face covered with bits of latex, the fact I am unable to sit
perhaps connected with the disappearance of those damn allen keys. Or
maybe the blowtorch. Will you be my girlfriend? Drunk, drugged and
deluded M, 38, covered in fragments of burnt latex with allen keys stuck
up his arse. Or perhaps its a blowtorch.'


The funny thing is, there is an NLP course with that title. Thanks to Mister PC for passing me the DVD - one to sob to over Xmas.