Dispatches from the Inaction Faction

Two Weeks Down, Two Weeks Left

I flew out with NickyVideo on the 15th. At LHR, I asked him if he had locked the case with all the demo kit. Nope. So as he gently turned the key in the lock, it snapped off. Cue 'suitcase surgery' at our first meeting in HK. I won't mention him dropping his boarding card, etc, but he agrees that I have a travel curse - on others.

From HK to Taipei & Hsinchu, meeting up with Max - all the while NickyVideo and I scoffed and guzzled like GutRotHogs™. We ran the chilli contest yet again. Max & NickyV shared one hotpot while I had one to myself, cruising to victory yet again, while Max & NickyV accelerated toward the toilets (exit skidmark left).

Shanghai was ace. I took NickyV on a boat trip up the Huangpu River and we checked out the Bund. Talking of the Bund, we can recommend the Glamour Bar. In fact, just to be certain in our advice, we checked it out several times. We also popped into People 7 (sorry Murphy, still haven't tried that other place on Julu Road) where I gave washroom hints to tourist fuckwits (it's deliberately confusing, in case you think the advice I gave was 'you take out your winkie and point it here', etc).

We didn't get a chance to check out Wynn Win and other clubs in Shanghai. After all, we were there to work. When we met GT, he yet again found another cracking restaurant.

Nick remarked that he first thought that Shanghai was misty, only to realise soon after that it has a serious smog problem. But the scale of China's pollution didn't hit him until we got to Beijing. Beijing has a population of approximately 15M and as the megacity grows, it encroaches upon the desert, resulting in sandstorms (like the one I experienced in April) and general pollution (the millions of bicycles from photos of 1970s vintage have given way to thousands of cars).

Interesting to think that while China is an emerging economic superpower and an ancient civilisation, its rapid economic growth will be arrested by the low birth rate - a direct result of the haphazardly-enforced 'One Child Policy'. This has implications for China as a low-cost manufacturing base (as an example, Shenzhen manufactures most of the World's consumer electronic products), as scarce resource will become an increasingly expensive resource. Mind you, other emerging economies have their problems too. India has a higher birth rate, but also a higher rate of illiteracy. I was discussing this last night with a professor who conducts research into social and industrial policy in China - he asked me why I didn't go back to being an analyst (I wonder why too).

Beijing is bloody cold. As I messed up my preparation for the trip, I didn't pack a coat or jacket - although the weather forecasts I checked did suggest warmer weather in Beijing. I therefore legged it to Silk Street in Beijing's CBD and got myself some GenuineFakes™. I got a watch (mainly because D got one and it would wind up Shambly). I also got a 'Timberland' fleece to keep me warm, but only because it was the only thing I found palatable. This location was also the home for a tailor recommended to me by Weiyee Inn (aka 'the only way in'). I presented them with Wei's card of introduction and they set about measuring me. Two cashmere suits, with funky lining and yes, cuffs that unbutton. I'll pick them up tomorrow (I have already been for my final fitting).

I am now in my 6th hotel in two weeks. Here's the rundown:

• Taipei: Ritz Landis (oldie but goodie with a terrific Chinese restaurant in the basement)
• Hsinchu: The Royal (crawling with chip perverts like myself)
• Shanghai: Purple Mountain (fab)
• Beijing: Jade Palace (first time to try this in place of the Tianhong Plaza. I don't like either of them)
• Beijing: Empark (5 star but shite which I swear is a front for the Chinese version of the KGB, judging from their customer service)
• Beijing: Shangri-La Kerry Centre (good facilities, but full of horrible ex-pats at the weekend, and touristy fuckwittish morons)

I still have more hotels waiting for me in Taipei (again), Seoul and my cousin's apartment in Tokyo. At least I have enjoyed the company of NickyVideo, 'the pure, unbesmirched' Mr. Tosh and will soon be joined by D.

The Long Road Back is the Only Way Forward

That sums up what I have been thinking for quite some time. I got some potentially bad news the day before I flew out here two weeks back. I was flustered while packing, explaining why I bolloxed that up a bit (I overpacked yet missed out on a coat).

The last 30 years have been pretty tough (I kid ye not) but I wouldn't have it any other way. Obstacles are great, because they give you something to push against, and develop your potential.

As I wrote to a friend earlier today, there ain't no way in a FUCK I am still supposed to be alive. I didn't ask to be born (mainly because I was too busy as an embryo), but now that I am here, I have no intention of leaving. Even if the bouncers ask me to leave 'nicely'.

They can go fuck their luck.

Shouts out to: Blondie & Da Bomb, Lola (you like 'Macaca', I like 'Bunda') & my sister Anj (get well soon)

Listening to: Candie Payne, Amy Winehouse, Crazy Horse, Lee Hazelwood, Conjure, Lenny Bruce, Bill Hicks, Richard Pryor & Wheedle's Groove - the best raregroove funk from Seattle